School starts tomorrow. There’s parents around the country jumping with joy – no more juggling child care, fun and work. There’s the agony of it all – back to lunches, timetables, early rising. In our house, it’s the battle raging about what lunchbox is necessary and/or desired and do the two match up in expectations? I don’t really want to wash little containers every night and I know the promises of my children doing will last as long as this post!
Summer for us consists of an escape from the monotony – I don’t have to go on about brushing teeth as it will get done in the am….and the pm but there’s no timeline on it. I decide not to worry about TV time – does it really matter in the long run if they watch TV and I can catch up my own VIP TV time in the other room? I decided no it didn’t these holidays. The void though, is the space you miss when it’s gone.
I like rolling over and a warm body greets me, wrapping their arms around me and we can stay like that for as long as we want to. I like saying yes to custard for breakfast and silently saying ‘well, it has diary in it’. I like knowing I am hungry (well starving) for some time to myself but when i get it, the void will crush me too. All these feeling exist together and I don’t have to attend to any of them. It’s enough I notice they are there.
The loss of this time can’t be denied. For you, it may be loss of routine. For others the loss of another 7 weeks with kids who grow older every day. It may be spiced with guilt about not enjoying the moments/days/holidays you have with them or for working too much, reading too much, being on screens too much. The balance is hard to find.
For others, the void means something else. And that’s okay too. It means taking a deep belly breath as you drop them off and then exploding with ecstacy at the idea of 6 hours free/work/crying/yoga/admin/whatever you use it for TIME. It’s almost like, with parenting, you are looking towards the next thing. All we can do is make some time for the thing we are doing right now, and if we can’t appreciate that, sometimes (at least) pay attention to it.
Top tips:
1) make a s**tload of sausage rolls to freeze and then give them out for lunches for a week. With a bit of fruit. And whatever else you have in the cupboard.
2) Better yet, get them to pack those in their ridiculous new lunchbox.
3) Take some time on the first day to do whatever you want to do. And choose not to feel guilty in any way, shape or form.
Parenting and paper cuts. 